Get To Know H.E.R.

And so we begin, with the first actual album review in the series. Took long enough huh. Anyways, when we last left the Beaties, they’d just met Rick Rubin, changed themselves into a rap group and signed with Def Jam. The premise of the Beastie Boys was simple enough. They were a bunch of white guys who loved to drink, party, womanize, and somewhere in between rap about all that. Looks like a horrible idea on paper to me, but what do I know right? Especially since the album was freaking incredible and has since its release sold only about a gajillion copies. Seriously, the Rolling Stones’ headline was “Three Idiots Create a Masterpiece.” And that…pretty beautifully sums up the Beasties in a nutshell. So, let’s continue and actually listen to this masterpiece that idiots made, Licensed To Ill (which, no joke, was originally supposed to be called “Don’t Be A Faggot”).

1. Rhymin & Stealin - The song starts with the drums. Then the guitar joins in. Then, the three proceed to rap a great track. That choppy rhyme style you’re hearing? That’s old school baby. Until we hit “A Hip Hop Odyssey Through NYC: 1987,” get used to it.

2. The New Style - The chemistry found in the the group is pretty amazing. I for one think that today’s rappers should bring back the tag team style of old school fame (Mos Def and Black Thought did it on a Root’s song and the end result was nothing short of superb). As for the track itself, it kinda drags a little bit towards the middle but then, wait! The beat changes in the middle of the track and you’re right back to enjoying it.

3. She’s Crafty - Eh, you can do without this song. Songs complaining about females has never caught my attention unless it happens to be made by Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff. And Gold Digger was alright too I guess. But this one you can do without.

4. Posse in Effect - Man, imagine what could’ve happened if the Beastie Boys were actual beats on the mic. Crazy. As for the track itself. It’s alright.

5. Slow Ride - The first thing you’ll notice is that there’s no guitar on this track. Second thing is that regardless, it’s good. Very chill and relaxed for the Beastie’s first album. You don’t get much of that until an album or two later so this is a preview of sorts.

6. Girls - This song makes me wish I were reviewing Check Your Head or Ill Communication instead. This album sounded a lot better the first time around. Where are the good songs?

7. Fight For Your Right - O. There they are. Everyone knows this song. My mom knows this song. Some people think it’s great, some people not so much. Myself, I used to live by this song. So I guess I fall into the former camp. Strangely enough, the Beasties themselves, fall into the latter camp. Weird huh? Whatever it’s a great song.

8. No Sleep Til Brooklyn - Followed by something even better. The guitar here is pretty sick and it comes complete with a guitar solo played guitarist Kerry King of Slayer. I’m starting to remember why I like this album so much.

9. Paul Revere - The track almost sounds too subdued to be on this album. But, I’m glad it is because one of my favorites. It’s also most likely your favorite rapper’s favorite track as well.

10. Hold It Now, Hit It - If I’m not mistaken, this was the first single to be released from the album. It’s pretty good but more often then not, you’re gonna skip this song…

11. Brass Monkey - …in order to get to this one. It’s a fun track and it’s hard not to like. It’s just too damn infectious.

12. Slow and Low - Believe it or not, this was originally a Run DMC song that was left off King of Rock. I’m glad the Beastie Boys decided to do a cover because it would’ve been a damn shame if no one ever heard this song.

13. Time to Get Ill - I’ve always liked this song and I’m glad I did, because last songs are very important to my overall impression of an album (well, unless its an outro of some sort.)

Final Score: 8.5

As much as I love this album, it’s more of a personal taste thing. I can’t give it anything higher than an 8.5 without feeling pangs of favoritism. That being said, it’s still a great album and it deserves nothing lower than an 8.5 either. It might take a while to get into some of their stuff but it’s well worth it. You’ll be glad you did when I begin the reviews of their later albums. Their next album sounds totally different and I actually think that their next three albums are nothing short of classics. But til then, and til the next review in this series knock yourself out with this one.

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Partly because I feel this is necessary and partly because I don’t feel like writing a review everyday, I give to you, my 2 and a half loyal readers, the artist profile. On the day before I review an album (excluding those I review for the new album section), I’ll give you a brief overview of the emcee/group at hand provided that it’s the first time he/she/they’ve appeared on the site. So in lieu of the upcoming, highly anticipated (who am I kidding) Licensed to Ill review, here is the Beastie Boys in a paragraph. Or two.

The Beastie Boys consist of three emcees: Michael Diamond aka Mike D, Adam Yauch aka MCA, and Adam Horovitz aka Ad Rock (who’s stepbrother actually went to my high school while I was there). They didn’t start off as a hip hop group and actually started as a punk band called The Young Aboriginies. They later realized that this name sucked hard and changed it to the Beastie Boys. What they didn’t realize until master producer Rick “totally messed up Linkin Park’s last album” Rubin of 99 problems fame pointed it out to them was that their punk music also sucked hard. And so, with that, the Beastie Boys as we know the group, possibly the first popular white act in hip hop, was born. I can go on here and talk about the rest of the group’s history, but you’ll get to read that along with their album reviews (I can promise you that the majority of their stuffs gonna be reviewed on here because I happen to be a Beastie stan).

The Beasties are mostly known for their heavy guitar riff production and their often screamed lyrics. Now Mike D, MCA, and Ad Rock are not the most gifted lyricists in this part of town. But for some reason or another, I find myself not giving a damn. Simple lyrics or not, their music still rocks. The most frequent complaint I hear about the group is that they scream their vocals and that somehow that deters them from the song. I call bullshit on that one because the same people who complain about the Beasties are the ones who bump Lil Jon on a regular basis. All the dude does is scream and he only screams the same three words and you guys somehow like his music. So suck it up and give the Beastie Boys a fair chance.